


Well That Escalated Quickly

by wonderluck



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Undercover Work, abby and holtzmann heal their friendship with shenanigans, everyone is in this pretty equally, hacked household appliances, holtzmann makes things for erin, light ghostbusting, squad antics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderluck/pseuds/wonderluck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtzmann and Abby are delightful troublemakers. Erin can't seem to stay away from Holtzmann. Patty thinks Kindles are an abomination. And everyone regrets giving Kevin email.</p><p>Or: the daily ins and outs of being a Ghostbuster (plus an assignment or two).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello new fandom. :) Thanks to holtzypants for the input.

Abby and Patty stood near the firehouse's lockers, heads bent conspiratorially. 

"This should be easier than the phones, right?" Abby whispered to Patty. She snuck a look toward Kevin as he typed one key at a time on the computer keyboard at his desk, a dopey smile on his face. 

Patty nodded. "I gave him a script. Real clear. All he's gotta do is cut and paste."

Kevin looked up from his typing as they crossed the room with tight smiles on their faces. They came to stand behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"Okay, Kevin, let's see what you came up with," Abby said.

"Sure thing, boss," Kevin said, adjusting his glasses. He opened a web page and brought up the Ghostbusters website.

"Looks like you used the right logo this time," Patty said and gave him a little high-five.

"How is the email coming along?" Abby asked. Her tone was hesitant.

"Great!" Kevin navigated through to the contact page and clicked on one of three email links.

"Why are there three--?" Patty stopped short as an email box popped up with the address 8U5T3D!@ghostbusters.com. She shook her head slowly.

A low-level grimace started to form on Abby's face. "What is that?" she asked, pointing at the screen.

Kevin sat back in his chair. "You guys were talking about kids the other day. I thought this would appeal to the younger crowd."

"Is this younger market operating some sort of limited keyboard?" Abby asked.

Patty cut in. "The kids we were talking about were ghosts, Children of the Corn types." She looked more closely at the email address. "Man, you can't have an exclamation point in an email address! That will never go through."

Abby full on grimaced, asking against her better judgment. "What are the other two?"

Kevin gave a self-satisfied smile as he brought the next email address up onscreen: MrMichaelHat20@ghostbusters.com. "Before you ask, there's an explanation for the 20."

Patty's eyes went wide. "Just the 20?" 

Kevin held up his hand and wiggled his fingers. "20 toes," Kevin said, and his voice turned serious. "Mike Hat is a pterodactyl."

Patty sighed. "Kevin, no, your dog is a polydactyl. Many toes. Poly-dac-tyl." She glanced at Abby over Kevin's head.

Abby looked like she was going to bite down on her fist before speaking. She took a deep breath. "It looks like you tried, buddy, but your dog doesn't need an email address in this organization."

Kevin shrugged. "That's all right. I'll just keep his Hotmail account. Okay, last one." He clicked on the final email link.

"Now that one is just our alarm code!" Abby put both hands to her temples with her eyes scrunched up like she had an incoming migraine.

"You told me to write it down," Kevin insisted. "Anyway, no emails came to that one yet. Mike Hat got the most. Like this one," he said and opened it up. "'Dear Friend' – well that's nice of them – 'I am a diplomat in [insert country] and I am urgently in need of your assistance.'" He scanned the email and paused. "Is there a Ghostbusters bank account?"

"Delete that," Patty said, gesturing to the trashcan icon.

"Are there any _actual_ cases?" Abby asked.

"Haven't read them all yet," Kevin said as he opened another email. "Oooh, these letters are blue!" He moved the mouse to hover over the link.

"Kevin, no!" Patty yelled as she lunged for his hand, but she was too late.

The screen started to fill with popups, tiling one after another, like a flashing text explosion. "That's strange…" he said, squinting at the screen.

Patty was quick to hit the computer's power button. The screen blinked off.

Abby looked exhausted. "I-I think I'm going to take a nap. Kevin, forget the email and just answer the phone, okay?" 

"You go on," Patty said and waved her out. 

Abby mouthed a silent "thank you" before turning to leave.

Patty motioned for Kevin to get out of the chair. He looked at her blank-faced.

"I need the chair," she said.

"There are lots of chairs here," Kevin said, looking around the room. "Would you like me to get you one?"

Patty paused. "Hey, did you hear that?" she asked, cupping a hand behind her ear. "Sounds like someone needs your help. Holtzy! Kevin's coming to help you!"

Holtzmann's voice, full of confusion, drifted down from upstairs. "What? Nope, all set up here. No need!"

Kevin looked from the direction of Holtzmann's voice to Patty and shrugged. 

Patty grumbled and took a seat. "Gonna try to fix this little mess," she said.

Kevin sat on the edge of the desk with his head turned toward the screen as Patty turned the computer on and into safe mode. A black screen with white text came up. Patty tapped on the keyboard a few times.

"Is this the dark web?" Kevin asked. 

Patty put her head down on the desk and sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Holtzmann and Abby's friendship. They are precious. So here, have some feelings, but stick with me kids, fun things will follow.

Holtzmann pushed open the door to the firehouse with Erin close behind her. 

"We're back!" Holtzmann announced.

"I see that," Abby said, looking up from her desk. "How'd it go?"

Erin set a brightly colored bag down on the floor. "Holtzmann bought a theater curtain."

"One of those maroon ones, so fancy," Holtzmann said.

"We went from the thrift store to a vintage store," Erin said, glancing at Holtzmann who rocked forward onto her tiptoes before shifting back onto her heels, "which are apparently different things? I made her put back a shirt that said 'The Man' with an arrow this way," she pointed up to her chin, "and another arrow under 'The Legend.'" She pointed down toward her belt and looked slightly exasperated. Holtzmann grinned. "Plus, it had no sleeves." Erin paused for a breath. "Then she talked me into trying on velvet bell bottoms."

"I bet that was a good look," Patty said nearby, doing a poor job of stifling a laugh.

"They looked _amazing_ ," Holtzmann said and nudged Erin with her elbow. "Own it, Erin." 

Erin rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "They're now part of my Halloween costume. I'm not going to wear them seriously."

"And the wailing wall?" Abby prompted them.

"Oh, right! The wailing wall is gone, just like the polar bear," Erin said as she took a seat at her desk. 

"Until next time," Holtzmann said and winked at Erin. She turned and bounded up the stairs to the lab with her curtain safely tucked under her arm. 

"Two down," Abby said. She walked over to their large whiteboard and placed a check next to "Wailing Wall in Chelsea."

Erin switched on her computer and grabbed a disheveled piece of paper from the tray on her desk. Erin's desk was the picture of organization, so the paper looked out of place in her sea of crisp, neatly typed documents. The paper was slightly crumpled with Kickass Ideas hand printed at the top. Holtzmann had tasked them with brainstorming new ideas for future equipment. "Shoot for the stars, ladies!" she had said as she handed out the blank lists. Erin picked up a pen and held it poised over the paper. She stalled. Tapping the pen cap against her teeth, her eyes shifted upward as if a thought was just out of reach. 

Sighing, she made her way to their coffee machine and poured herself a cup. Next to her, Abby split her attention between flipping through her notebook and moving to click in and out of windows on her computer. She sat way too close to the screen. Erin made a mental note to have Abby get her eyes checked again.

Erin opened a hefty book on her desk, scanning the pages with her finger. Research was her first love, the scavenger hunt feeling of it all. Something brilliant was right at the edge of her consciousness, and she just needed a springboard. She picked up her coffee again and took a sip.

Abby slapped a notebook down onto Erin's desk. "Yahtzee!" 

Erin fumbled her half-drunk cup of coffee. It clattered onto her desk. "Jesus, Abby!" Coffee pooled at the edge of her desk and dribbled down onto the floor. Erin looked around frantically, fanning her hands over the coffee like the tiny bursts of air would do something. "Patty, do you--?"

Patty fished out a roll of paper towels from her desk drawer and tossed them to Erin. "You and Kevin aren't gonna stop until this whole floor is coated in coffee."

Abby pulled a few sheets off the roll and ignored Erin's scowl. She sopped up the coffee, careful to dry beneath Erin's prized "MIT Mom" paperweight Abby had given her in college. "I know what we need next," Abby said.

Erin righted her coffee cup and frowned. She had really been enjoying that. 

When Erin didn't respond, Abby continued on. "We need a device to prevent possession. I don't want anymore creeps thinking they can take up residence and use me like a puppet."

"Good," Patty said, half exclamation and half relieved sigh, "because my shoulder is wrecked from hauling Holtzmann back in that window. I probably need physical therapy."

Abby's smile faltered. "What?"

Erin and Patty shared a look, their eyebrows drawing together in mirrored expressions. Patty had filled Erin in on the whole ordeal the day after it happened. But Abby…

Abby swallowed hard as she looked at Erin and then at Patty. "Was it me?" Her voice was small.

"You don't remember?" Erin asked and reached for Abby's hand. 

"I know I smashed up the proton packs. I saw the damage. I don't…" Abby trailed off and steadied herself with a hand on the table. "Who even had that window fixed after Heiss flew out of it? I didn't!"

Patty leaned down to catch her gaze. "You did seem really chill about the whole thing. It wasn't your fault, so I thought you just shook it off, you know?"

Abby sighed and glanced up toward the second floor. "I have to fix this."

Erin patted Abby's hand before Abby turned toward the stairs.

"Holtzmann?" Abby called. She took the stairs at double-time. "Holtzmann?" she called again as she reached the top. 

Holtzmann looked up from her newest project.

"Abby, hey," she said with a nod and a smile. 

Abby strode toward her, full-hurricane force. "Incoming hug," she warned. 

It brought Holtzmann up short, but she put down her tools. "Abby, what—" Holtzmann closed her mouth, brow furrowed, as Abby hugged her tightly. Holtzmann let herself go limp in Abby's arms and patted her back. "What's up, Abby?" Holtzmann tried.

Abby pulled back and stood in front of her. She placed gentle hands on Holtzmann's shoulders. She looked her over like someone who had found her little sister after being lost in a vast crowd. Holtzmann lifted up her goggles so Abby could look her in the eye with no barriers. 

"I didn’t know," Abby said, and the delicacy with which she said it was palpable. 

"Didn’t know what?" Holtzmann asked, attempting nonchalance, but it was obvious that she knew from the speed at which her smile faded

Abby gathered her into another hug, this one quicker. "Are you okay?" 

Holtzmann nodded against Abby's shoulder. "I'm good, we're good, Abby. It's okay."

Abby released her and nodded. "You up for a start at the arcade? I've got a roll of quarters and I'm jonesing to play Pac-man."

Holtzmann put both of her hands together and held them up for Abby to complete their signature handshake. "Let's do this!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. Had a couple less than stellar weeks but I have a lot more planned out now.

Erin shuffled into the firehouse, straining under the weight of her final box of books. She found Patty muttering under her breath as she worked at her computer, fingers tapping the keys at considerable speed.

"Research?" Erin asked as she pushed the door closed with her foot. She crossed the room and tried to control the shifting of the box toward the ground, with mixed results. The toes of her left foot took the brunt of it.

Patty shook her head and waved a hand at the monitor. "The North Brother Island article is all wrong. This is a seriously haunted place, and I can't in good conscience leave this information all jacked up."

"How many is that this week?" Erin asked as she opened the box. "Three?"

Patty thought for a moment. "Closer to five," she said. "Look, I love shared knowledge, but man, sometimes Wikipedia makes me crazy."

"Where are--?"

Before Erin could finish her sentence, howls of laughter sounded from another room. Erin looked over Patty's shoulder and then up toward the fire pole.

"They're still going strong?" Erin asked, smiling at the thought of their friends bonding.

"Back from the arcade and about an hour into tequila shots and trust falls."

Erin's brow furrowed. "Trust falls?"

Patty nodded. "You know, like at camp? You cross your arms over your chest, fall back, and somebody catches you."

"Oh. I-I didn't realize that's what they were called."

Holtzmann's signature foghorn noise echoed down to them.

"There's a lot of healing going on in there," Patty said. 

They heard Abby make a whooping noise, then a pause, followed by a resounding high-five.

"So check it out," Patty said. She pulled up a new screen on her computer: Something Strange in Your Neighborhood? A Ghostbusters FAQ. "People visiting the website might have questions about this whole busting thing, so I thought I'd put a few answers up. I need your help on the science stuff."

"Of course."

"I thought I'd start with the basics: 'How exactly does ghostbusting work'?"

Erin pulled up a chair next to Patty. "Okay, where do you want to start? Particle accelerator?"

"Nope."

"Positron collider?"

"Oh my god, English, please."

Erin huffed. "Well, what would you want to know? It's kind of hard to explain."

"Uncomplicate it for the people at home. I'm not saying you can't do the science thing, just make it easier to understand. You got this," Patty finished and clapped Erin on the shoulder.

She thought for a solid minute. She was learning how to relate to people without making them feel intimidated. She drummed her fingers on Patty's desk. "To catch a ghost, we harness energy…"

Patty typed the information as Erin spoke. "Good, good."

Erin closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "…That is opposite the energy a ghost is made of."

After rattling off a few more items of note, Patty nodded and finished with "and the rest is proprietary information but don't worry about it."

Erin folded her hands together on the desktop. "What's next?"

"'What do you do with the ghost'?" Patty read.

"The ghosts are usually destroyed..."

Patty backspaced and used 'eliminated' instead. She finished the question herself, speaking out loud as she typed: "In other instances the ghosts are physically removed from the haunting site."

"Perfect," Erin said and gave Patty's shoulder a friendly bump with her own shoulder.

The whir of a drill sounded from above. Erin and Patty's heads turned up toward the ceiling slowly. 

Patty leaned back in her chair. "Man, we were on a roll. I do _not_ have time for that nonsense." She paused. "Rock paper scissors?"

"Deal."

They held their fists poised above their flat palms. Erin counted off.

"One, two, three, shoot."

She lost, Patty's scissors smoking her choice of paper. Patty did not gloat. She kept her face serious, but the smallest smile appeared at the corner of her mouth. Erin's heavy, bangs-ruffling sigh of defeat fell off as the drill sounded again. 

"Let me know if you need backup," Patty called after her as she marched upstairs.

Arriving on the second floor, she took in the scene before her: Abby rifling through drawers and tossing parts onto the worktable, and Holtzmann sitting on a stool with the chuck key for the drill held between her teeth and the drill clasped between her thighs as she swapped the bit out for a new one. 

Erin stared a moment before she found her voice. "Holtz, put the drill down."

Both Abby and Holtzmann whipped their heads up toward Erin. 

"Erin!" they shouted simultaneously, huge grins on their faces.

"Come see!" Abby said, waving her over, her words a bit slurred. 

Holtzmann flipped the safety on and tossed the drill onto the table none too gently. She hopped off the stool. Erin watched them both wobble a bit as they huddled excitedly around the table. They smelled of alcohol and Erin thought she saw a dried up lime rind tucked behind Abby's ear like a pencil. 

"Promise me you have not built anything nuclear while drunk," Erin said sternly, gazing first at each of them and then around the room for signs of new equipment. 

"Of course not," Abby answered, her voice too loud. 

Erin circled behind them and unplugged the drill, pushing the cord under the table for the moment. She would roll it up in perfect loops and secure it with a zip tie later. She stood across from them, still sizing up the situation. "The drill?" Erin prompted, calling their bluff. 

"We were going to hack a Jenga set," Holtzmann said, "And I've built some of my best stuff with a few beers in me." She held her head high, her largest goggles obscuring her face. "The nutcracker, for instance." 

"Well that explains it," Erin said, "and also that is completely irresponsible."

Holtzmann held her fingerless-gloved hand up and audibly exhaled onto her fingernails, rubbing them against her shirt as if to polish them. "I try."

"New rule," Erin said. "No building while intoxicated. Design, yes, but nothing more." 

Abby pointed to her temple briefly, pressed her lips together, and nodded. Holtzmann saluted. 

"Good. Okay. What did you want me to see?"

Holtzmann moved around the table to herd Erin over to their side of the table and sandwiched her between herself and Abby. Apparently personal space was not big with these two while drunk. Although, with Holtzmann, it didn't seem to be a priority most of the time.

"We were brainstorming after a round of Mad Libs," Abby said and spread out various sketches in front of them.

Erin peered at the sketches. One looked like a modified baseball bat, another like a tricked out pogo stick. 

"Had to scrap the proton piano wire," Holtzmann said, putting both of her fists in front of her and making a yanking motion. "It was a little too…" 

Abby laughed. "Ghastly!" she finished for her. Holtzmann nodded once.

"Good call," Erin said as she grimaced. "I'm going back to work now, and I trust you not to blow us all up."

Abby and Holtzmann waved as she made her way back to the stairs. 

After Erin took her first step out of sight, she turned and leaned back into the room. "And drink some water!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My time was eaten up by my Yuletide Ghostbusters fic (http://archiveofourown.org/works/8885155) and the ensuing panic that comes with writing a gift fic. I'm back on a normal posting schedule now.

Long after Patty had called it a night and gone to bed upstairs, Erin felt restless. She tapped the eraser of her pencil rhythmically on her desk and stared at the pad of paper in front of her. She scratched out a few more lines of a new equation before putting the pencil down. She moved her head to one side and then the other, stretching out her scrunched up muscles. Pausing, she closed her eyes. It stung. She definitely needed to go to bed soon. She ascended the stairs and peered around the corner of the second floor, half expecting to find Abby and Holtzmann still carrying on. 

Instead, she found them sprawled on the couch. Abby had her glasses on but had added Holtzmann's goggles which sat atop her head, while Holtzmann was wrapped in Abby's sweater coat. Both their faces were slack and peaceful as they slept, mouths slightly agape, with Holtzmann using Abby's shoulder as a pillow. Erin didn't think she had ever seen anything so adorable. She hadn't been there when Rowan possessed Abby, but from what Patty said, this bonding time was much needed.

Jenga pieces were scattered across the small coffee table. The pieces had spilled over onto the floor, which Erin discovered when she stepped on one. Pain shot up though her foot, and she clenched her teeth to stifle a yelp. Taking a few deep breaths, she silently counted to three and felt somewhat lucky that Abby and Holtzmann did not own Legos.

Erin sank into the chair closest to Abby's head. She picked up Patty's rubix cube and turned it in her hands, assessing how far the ladies had progressed during their festivities. Not far, apparently. One blue sticker square was peeled up at the edge. _The Brady Bunch_ flickered on the TV screen in all its orange and yellow glory. It didn't seem Holtzmann's speed though Erin didn't really know what Holtzmann liked. _The X-Files_ , definitely. _Battlestar Galactica_ , probably. She made a mental note to ask Holtzmann sometime. Erin could see from a partially unpacked box on the floor that it was Abby's DVD—she had a small collection of cheesy '70s sitcoms from the look of it. 

Holtzmann shifted on the couch. Her arm flopped behind her, her hand landing on the floor. Erin winced as she thought of how that would feel in the morning. She tiptoed—quite literally—to where Holtzmann slept. She bent down and picked up Holtzmann's arm, one hand on an elbow and one on a wrist, moving it in a slow arc, until she placed it on Holtzmann's leg. Holtzmann stirred again and took hold of Erin's hand. She turned to face her, eyes barely open, looking bleary enough that she was likely not awake. She smiled up at Erin. 

"Hey," she said.

Erin smiled and shushed her gently, holding her finger in front of her lips. 

"K," Holtzmann whispered as she nodded sleepily. 

Erin crouched down further until she could sit down on the floor next to the couch, her hand still enveloped in Holtzmann's sleep-warm grip. As she listened to Abby's steady breath and watched Holtzmann's eyes drift closed again, she felt connected, content. She had mended her relationship with Abby and gained new friends in the process. They had her back and she undoubtedly had theirs. She was on the cusp of new discovery every day, real breakthroughs, and she didn't have to worry about funding or reputation. This foreign sense of contentment was something that had evaded her since she was a child—always reaching, always pursuing perfection, never satisfied with the acceptance she had garnered even after the taunting had fallen away. She let the feeling of serenity expand in her chest, let it radiate to her fingertips. 

Only when Holtzmann's body went limp did she let Erin's hand go. Erin remained on the floor a while longer, smiling to herself as she stacked the Jenga pieces back into a proper tower.


End file.
